Writing is something we typically do on our own. We may spend months or years before we create something that resembles a “product,” something others would deem worthy of the time and effort required. It can be a lonely pursuit, and maybe we’re an introvert and we like it that way.
Still it’s important to have someone who cares and understands what we’re doing and why. Family and friends may cheer us on and mean well, but they may not understand our obsession or why we’re willing to spend the time and effort to write the best story we can, a story readers will love. After all, there are easier ways to do the things we believe writing a story will do for us.
A writing partner helps with accountability because when things are stacked against your writing practice, you show up anyway because you don’t want to disappoint them. No one is telling us that we must write our story. It’s something that comes from within us, a desire to express ourselves. The rest of life seems so loud and urgent, and we have legitimate commitments beyond writing. The truth is most people who set out to write a story don’t ever complete a first draft. Others fail to revise their story to realize the potential of their initial vision.
That happens because some days it’s just easier to give in. String together enough of those days, and it’s harder and harder to go back. Pretty soon, it’s hard to remember why telling a story seemed so important. Consistent practice over time is how you beat the odds and succeed. The right writing partner is a force for good that steadies you and helps you stay on the path.
I met TC, my writing partner, at a Natalie Goldberg workshop in Taos, New Mexico. We were checking into the Fechin Inn at the same time. She heard me say the name of my hometown, and she said she loved traveling there. We hit it off immediately and ended up in the same group at the workshop. Over the five days that followed, we paired up to write and read to each other more than a dozen times. When it was time to go, we didn’t want to lose contact or momentum. We knew that many people who attend workshops intend to keep going but don’t manage it. We also knew we couldn’t let that happen. Before we left, we set a date, the following Sunday at 5:00 p.m., to write. That was over 21 years ago, and we’re still writing on Sunday evenings. We’ve done this so long that it feels wrong if we have to miss a date for travel or illness.
So how do you find a writing partner who can be your TC? Finding a partner can be tricky. A great writing partnership is like any important relationship, it helps to cast a wide net. This is not always easy for people who enjoy spending time alone writing.
Look for local resources in your community’s paper. Your local library might host writing groups, and nearby colleges may offer creative writing workshops. If local options are limited, don't worry—the digital world offers plenty of opportunities too. The perfect writing partner might not be in your immediate circle, so be open to virtual partnerships too. TC and I live hundreds of miles apart, but we connect by phone each week. Explore online platforms where writers connect and share their work or writing-focused groups on social media.
Stay open and curious, ask writers about how they work, what kinds of tools and strategies they’ve tried, and what’s worked for them. People love to talk about the things they are passionate about.
Look for other writers by attending writing workshops or other gatherings of writers. Check out the local library and community papers for groups or events near you. You can look online too, but it takes longer to get to know someone online.
When you find someone and you’re ready to try,
Once you've found a potential writing partner, establish clear expectations from the start. You’ll need to discuss what your writing goals are and what you’d like to get out of the relationship. This will help you decide on the structure for your sessions. Be sure to cover your ideal meeting time and frequency. A good writing partnership is built on mutual respect and growth—be prepared to offer the same level of commitment and support you want to receive.
When you have a plan for moving forward, keep these tips in mind.
Regular sessions are important. This helps your mind get used to doing it and builds the neural connections that enable you to go deep and keep going. Make a commitment, even if it’s a small one to start. Plan to meet regularly for a few months, then reassess.
Show up every time unless there is an emergency. Monkey mind will creep in here if we let it, offering us reasons to skip. We must show monkey mind we will not be swayed.
Confidentiality is a must. To read our writing, we need to trust the other person won’t share what we write about.
No judgment. In some sessions, the words flow elegantly, and in others we never really land. What matters is having the courage to show up, write, and read. That is enough. So we don’t comment on or critique each other’s writing practice. If you want to critique each other’s developed work, make that a separate conversation.
Be sure to check in regularly about how it’s going, and communicate about what’s not working.
It may take time to find the right person. Keep looking and do writing practice on your own in the meantime.
In my approach to storytelling, I believe that every writer has a unique voice waiting to be uncovered and stories to tell that can shed light on the challenges we face. The journey of writing a truly impactful story is one of self-discovery and growth. It requires dedication, a willingness to delve deep into one's experiences and emotions, and the courage to push beyond our comfort zones. When we find the right person, our writing partner provides invaluable support to us on this journey.
This post is part of a 75-day writing challenge and experiment. From September 9 through November 22, I'll post daily thoughts on writing, storytelling, and creativity based on recent readings or reflections. While my intention was to keep them very short—250 to 400 words—I've found that this range doesn't give me enough space to cover these topics adequately. I aim to keep them brief enough to be read quickly, but they will typically be longer than 400 words.