Episode 70: Affery’s Earth, Magical Realism Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Sondra Turnbull's Affery’s Earth, an as yet unpublished magical realism novel. They discuss adverbs that end in ly, how to use adverbs to “unwrite” your sentences and make them stronger, the use of inanimate objects, and US vs. UK English. Contains some adult language.

 

 

 

Listen Now

Show Notes

“The adverb is versatile—capable of modifying verbs, adjectives, other adverbs, even complete sentences. It’s flexible—likely to appear before, after, or nowhere near the word it modifies. And yet, undeniably, the adverb is both the poor stepchild and the Rodney Dangerfield of the parts of speech, enduring the scorn of writers and critics alike.”
— Richard Nordquist

The book Clark mentioned for the exercise in “unwriting” your sentences is Word Hero: A Fiendishly Clever Guide to Crafting the Lines that Get Laughs, Go Viral, and Live Forever by Jay Heinrichs.

Find out more about Clark’s courses here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 69: Expedition, Brace Cordova Book One: Space Opera Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of C. Steven Manley's Expedition: Brace Cordova Book One, an as yet unpublished space opera. They discuss setting, capitalization, flashbacks, and characterization.

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“Most fantasy tales use the logic of the example presented above. A word may be capitalized because it is part of a proper name, it bears significant importance, or it is another name for a person, place, or thing. In the example at the beginning of the article, the words ‘Forest,’ ‘Torch,’ and ‘Language’ were randomly capitalized with no explanation as to their origin or feat. In its own way, each could refer to something else. ‘Forest’ could be referring to ‘The Dreaded Forest.’ ‘Torch’ could be a shortening of the name ‘The One Torch,’ and ‘Language’ could be a reference to the old tongue, held in such high regard by the society that it deserves random capitalization.”
— Courtney Keene
“In science there is a dictum: don’t add an experiment to an experiment. Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated. In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don’t ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story.”
— Ben Bova

Find out more about Clark's courses here.

Read the full, edited version of this Brace Cordova story here.

Check out C. Steven Manley's previous submission here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 68: The Case Files of Jack Nimble—Supernatural Mystery Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique Carl Vaughn's The Case Files of Jack Nimble, an as yet unpublished supernatural mystery. They discuss fiction mash-ups, innovating scenes, character descriptions, and tightening prose.

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“The real problem with clichés is that they deprive us of genuine details, which, though less sensational, are both more convincing and more interesting…. The truth is the best weapon we have for authenticity against cliché: Whether it’s the literal truth or the truth of imagination doesn’t matter.
”
— Jordan Rosenfeld

Here is a Litreactor post with a list of the top 10 storytelling clichés.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 67: Hypnotic Destiny, YA Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Charlie Reale’s Hypnotic Destiny, an as yet unpublished YA Fantasy. They discuss fight scenes, character thoughts and reactions, point of view as it relates to character description, setting, and strong verbs.

 

 

 

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

We mentioned these resources on the show. 

The Book Editor Show episode discussing editing scenes, sequels, and motivation-reaction units (MRU).

The Creative Penn Podcast episodes discussing fight scenes with Jarrah Loh and Alan Baxter. 

Chuck Wendig post on writing action scenes. 

Diana Gabaldon's Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade is the story that Leslie mentioned with the great battle scene. 

 

Inline Critique

Episode 66: Kastori Revelations, Science Fiction/Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Stephen Allan’s Kastori Revelations, a published science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss story beginnings, indicating the passage of time, action, and military culture.

Listen Now

Show Notes

“Understanding the difference between the flush of initial inspiration and the ways in which your technical imagination then begins to organize the elements of the story is the key to effective beginnings. ”
— Jeff VanderMeer

For the editorial mission this week, consider this list from Jeff VanderMeer's WonderBook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction.

“Most stories require some or all of the basic following elements to be present at the beginning:

1. A main character or characters, presented from a consistent point of view.
2. A conflict or problem.
3. An antagonist (the source of conflict or the problem – a person or, depending on the theme, nature or society, to name just two possibilities; whomever or whatever the main characters are pushing up against, which, put crassly, could be called the ‘villain’ of the piece.)
4. A hint or suggestion of a secondary conflict or problem that may form a subplot or additional complication (This is optional, since it may come into focus later in the narrative.)
5. A sense of action or motion, no matter how static the opening scene.
6. A general or specific idea of the setting.
7. A consistent tone and mood to the language.
”

 

Want to continue reading? You can find Kastori Revelations here. 

Visit Stephen Allan's author page here. 

Inline Critique

Episode 65: The Key of Astrea, Science Fiction/Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Nicolas Marson’s The Key of Astrea, an as yet unpublished science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss rapid-fire dialogue, punctuation and tags for dialogue, and point of view. 

 

 

 

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

Download Leslie's Quick Sheet for Punctuating Dialogue here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 64: The Colonists, Historical Fiction Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie welcomed her new co-host, Clark Chamberlain, who is an author, editor, and co-host of The Book Editor Show. They critiqued the beginning of Michele Potter’s The Colonists, an as yet unpublished historical fiction novel. They discussed internal dialogue, increasing character interaction, strong verbs, ellipses, and em dashes.

 

 

 

 

 

Show Notes

“For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.

”
— Catherine Drinker Bowen

Need to find the origin of a word or phrase? Check out try this source. 

 

Inline Critique

Episode 63: Action-Adventure Romance Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Michael Walsh's Posted as Missing, an action-adventure romance. They discuss genre, traumatic events and how to include them in fiction, underwriting, strong verbs, echoes, and foreign languages. This episode has adult language and disturbing images. 

Also, Alyssa bid a fond farewell to the Writership Podcast. Her insight and presence will be missed, but we wish her well in her new adventures.

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“Underwriting is just what it sounds like: it’s the failure to put things on the page that need to be there. When somebody picks up a gun and fires it off, and we didn’t know there was a gun on stage, that’s underwriting. When someone makes a decision completely out of the blue, leaving us not so much surprised as confused, that’s underwriting. ”
— Rachel Starr Thompson

Check out this helpful post about underwriting from Writers Helping Writers.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 62: YA Paranormal Adventure Critique

Episode Description

In episode 62, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Jenn Hale and Holly Mora’s Forged, a young adult paranormal adventure. They discuss beginning hooks, flashbacks, similes, repetitive structure, and echoes.

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“Flashbacks are sometimes necessary because telling a story in chronological order is not always the best choice. They are similar to actual scenes that take place during the time frame of the story itself; they allow you to show instead of telling the reader about an important event. Similarly, the scene-setting of a flash forward can deliver emotional content more effectively than a sentence or two that simply tells the reader that the dying woman thought about her children growing up without her and felt sad.
”
— Bridget McNulty

To learn more about Jennifer Hale and Holly Mora, check out their website.

Here is a helpful post about flashbacks from Now Novel's Bridget McNulty.

To find out more about working with Alyssa on your next manuscript, check out her website.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 61: Behind the Stars: Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Thomas Cardin’s Behind the Stars, an unpublished fantasy novel. They discuss conflict, point of view, echoes, and disclosing relevant detail.

Listen Now

Show Notes

“Editing is like walking across a room strewn with rose petals and thorns. When you can walk across mostly unbloodied, you’re finished.”
— Richard Due

 

Inline Critique

Episode 60: The Missing Yesterdays, MG/YA Novella Critique

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Terry Marchion’s The Missing Yesterdays, an MG/YA novella. They discuss specificity of detail and verbs, rising tension, worldbuilding and applying humor.

 

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“Detail done well is one of the keys to good fiction.

The right mix of details can be the difference between a memorable scene and one that could be found in any of hundreds of books—bland, vague, forgettable.”
— Beth Hill

Read the full, edited version of The Missing Yesterdays here.

Check out the second book in the series, The Purloined Pictograph, here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 59: Beauty's Daughter: Fantasy Novella Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Eustacia Tan’s novella Beauty’s Daughter. They discuss throat clearing, strengthening verbs, point of view, and rising tension. 

 

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“Writing Tip:
Don’t let the “writing rules” bog you down when you’re writing the first draft; they don’t matter when you’re writing the story, only when you’re editing the story.
”
— Linda Westphal

Read the full, edited version of Beauty's Daughter here.

Revisit Eustacia's previous submission, here. 

 

Inline Critique

Episode 58: Smarter Artist Summit

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie share their experiences and takeaways from attending the 2016 Smarter Artist Summit. Panelists included: Mark LeFebvre, Joanna Penn, Nick Stephenson, Julia Kent, J.A. Huss, Andre Chaperon, and James Tonn in addition to Sean Platt, Johnny B. Truant, and David Wright.

Listen Now

Show Notes

“Writing is something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.”
— John Green

Episode 57: The Man on the Motorcycle

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique "The Man on the Motorcycle," a short story by Sean Seebach. They discuss point of view, character and plot arc, and genre considerations.

Listen now

 

Show Notes

“Think of your story’s reader as a little person who rides inside the head of one of your characters. When inside a given head, the reader can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste everything that particular character is experiencing, and he or she can also read the thoughts of that one character. But it takes effort for the little person to move out of one head and into another. Not only that — it’s disorienting.”
— Robert J. Sawyer

 

Inline Critique

Episode 56: Mystery at Blackstone's Stables: Historical Mystery Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Saralee Etter’s Mystery at Blackstone’s Stables, and discuss deft character descriptions, bridging tension, and setting.

Listen Now

Show Notes

“I’m diving into revisions with gusto. … Quite honestly, I love this part because pretty much everything I do will make the book better. There’s lots of positive energy behind that instead of the flailing doubt that typically affects writers, and some time away from the manuscript provides a certain clarity about what needs to be done.”
— Kevin Hearne

Inline Critique

Episode 55: Underneath: Science Fiction Critique

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of M.N. Arzu’s Underneath, and discuss foreshadowing, verb choice, repetitive sentence structure, and genre considerations.

 

 

Listen Now

 

Show Notes

“I am hard at work on the second draft ... Second draft is really a misnomer as there are a gazillion revisions, large and small, that go into the writing of a book. ”
— Libba Bray

Keep reading Underneath - A Merfolk Tale.

Find out more about M.N. Arzu here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 54: Raven's Peak: Paranormal Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Lincoln Cole’s Raven’s Peak, and discuss tone, using secondary character reactions to develop your reader’s understanding of the protagonist, restraint in delivery, and a few finer points of comma & colon usage. 

Listen Now

Show Notes

“Writing is rewriting. Even after you’ve gotten an agent and an editor, you’ll have to rewrite. If you fall in love with the vision you want of your work and not your words, the rewriting will become easier.”
— Nora DeLoach

You can find more about the six questions we posed in today's editorial mission here.

Check out Muse Fuel and 101 Creative Writing Prompts for Memoir Writers, now available in print and ebook from Amazon.

Alyssa and Leslie were guests on the Authority Self-Publishing Podcast. 

Inline Critique

Episode 53: Martha's Dream: Literary Fiction Critique

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Genya’s literary fiction novel, Martha’s Dream. They discuss sentence and paragraph length, poetic language, and reconciling adult-like observations with the protagonist (a child). 

Listen Now

Show Notes

“The most subtle way to influence your pacing is through your structuring of sentences. The length of words, clauses, sentences, and paragraphs all contribute to how the pacing is conveyed to the reader. Again, long=slow, short=fast. When it’s time to write the intense scenes, cut back on the beautiful, long-winded passages and give it to your reader straight. Short sentences and snappy nouns and verbs convey urgency, whereas long, measured sentences offer moments of introspection and build-up.”
— K.M. Weiland

Read about the rules and art of paragraphing.

And here's an article about varying sentence length.

Inline Critique

Episode 52: Hard Reboot: Dystopian YA Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the prologue and opening of chapter one from JF Erikson’s Hard Reboot. They discuss worldbuilding, advanced dialogue punctuation, maintaining tension, and stage direction.

Listen Now

Show Notes

“I would write a book, or a short story, at least three times—once to understand it, the second time to improve the prose, and a third to compel it to say what it still must say. Somewhere I put it this way: first drafts are for learning what one’s fiction wants him to say. Revision works with that knowledge to enlarge and enhance an idea, to reform it. Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.”
— Bernard Malamud

Want to keep reading? JF Erikson is posting the series on his site, which you can find here. 

Read Leslie's guest post about the power of writing prompts. 

Check out Muse Fuel!

Inline Critique

Episode 51: The Humanarium: SF/Action/Adventure Critique

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique the prologue of Chris Tick’s The Humanarium, a science fiction novel. They discuss classic scene structure, grounding the reader, worldbuilding, and characterization. 

 

Listen Now


Show Notes

“Scenes are battles built on conflict. Stories are wars that take values to the end of the line or, at the very least, approach the end of the line.”
— Shawn Coyne, The Story Grid: What Good Editors Know

Learn more about the Story Grid.

Inline Critique