Episode 79: Hiraeth: Family Saga Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Hiraeth by Robert Fritz Gaston, an as yet unpublished family saga novel. They discuss point of view, tense, introducing characters, and characteristic moments.

Warning: NSFW! This episode contains some adult language.

 

 

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Show Notes

“The Characteristic Moment is a work of art. We can’t be content to open with our character doing any ol’ thing. We have to select an event that will: Make the protagonist appealing to readers, introduce both his strengths and his weaknesses, and build the plot.”

— K.M. Weiland

Editorial Mission

A characteristic moment tells the reader right away who your character is in the briefest span of time (number of words) in a way that connects to the plot before life changes as the result of said plot. It also allows the reader to compare it with another moment at the end of the story that demonstrates how the character has changed. It should show his strength and his flaws. That is a lot of heavy lifting for one moment in a story to do. But you can craft it! 

Make a list of your character’s defining qualities. Everything you can think of. Strengths, weaknesses, what he wears, how he talks, the way he looks at life, good habits and bad, the way he treats people, etc. From that list pick the top three that are related to what happens in the plot and write a scene that demonstrates those top three things.

Want to see an example of this in action? In the opening scene of this story, William’s family gathers for a photo. Everyone looks “clean-cut and poised.” Where is William? He is hiding out having a quiet drink and smoke behind the trellis. We find out later in the scene that he is wearing the same outfit he wore for the last photo, and it’s a bit tight. So we know that William doesn’t quite fit in with the family in at least two key ways: appearance and caring about appearance, showing up for things that don’t seem as important (contrast with how he shows up in the next scene, and smoking).

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Episode 78: Me and My Bacon: YA Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Ceanmohrlass’s Me and My Bacon, a published YA novel. They discuss the passage of time, setting as it relates to the characters, and the characteristic moment.

 

 

 

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Show Notes

“People are almost always aware of time in their daily lives—time of day or month or year; time in relation to a job or task that needs to be completed; time in terms of religious holidays or seasons; stages of life such as infancy or teenage years, school years, years of fertility, and old age; era, such as the Roaring Twenties or Regency England or the frontier years on Mordant Five; or time as it relates to anticipation of either a dreaded or an eagerly anticipated event. Readers stepping into a story world should also step into the time reality and expectations of that world, at least the reality of the major characters. At least of the viewpoint character.”

— Beth Hill

 

Editorial Mission - It's About Time!

Think about the different aspects of time in your story. Consider the setting: the year, time of year, time of day in which your story is set. Is this clear to the reader at the outset? How could you make it more evident without telling? What details could you use? How much time passes over the course of your story? Within individual scenes? Have you conveyed this through your view point character? Track it on a calendar to be sure it all makes sense.

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Other resources

• If you want to read more from Me and My Bacon, you can find it on Amazon.
• Here's the link to the post we discuss about the passage of time in fiction.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 77: Ashes Like Snow: Literary Short Story Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Brian McWilliams’s
“Snow Like Ashes” an as yet unpublished literary fiction short story. They discuss short stories, character arcs, conflict, and narrative identity. Special notice: This story contains some disturbing scenes involving the situations that firefighters experience.

 

 

 

 

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Show Notes

“Short stories typically represent only a crucial episode in a character’s life, but it’s precisely the episode which matters most, in which the biggest change occurs. (Of course there are stories which are more or less biographies of the character’s entire life, but those are fairly easy to see from a character arc point-of-view). In the case of the “life episode” short stories, the arc is much shorter. I wouldn’t even call it an arc, but a transition. The core elements of character arcs apply, certainly, but in a much more condensed way.”

— Veronica Sicoe

Editorial Mission

Identify the character arc in your story, whether it’s a short story or novel. Does the change (or lack of change) make sense given the plot? Can we see a clear beginning (the character starts out this way) and ending (the character becomes this way)? Does your story contain sufficient motivation for the change, or is it abrupt? 

Inline Critique

Episode 76: The Automatic Author: Literary Science Fiction Critique

Episode Description:

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Marcelo Mendes’s “The Automatic Author” an as yet unpublished literary science fiction short story. They discuss short stories, economy of words, where to start your story, and ways to evoke feelings.

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Show Notes

“You think writing 100,000 words is tough? That shaping them into a coherent and meaningful story is challenging?

Try writing 1000 words sometime. Or 5,000. With the same goal.

Try writing a short story.

As paradoxical as it may seem, short stories are harder to wrap your head around than a novel. And harder yet to successfully pull off.
”

— Larry Brooks

Editorial Mission—Write a Short Story

Drafting short stories is one way to explore and practice all the elements of story in rapid succession is to play with short stories. Write a short story and focus on an element of storytelling that is most challenging for you. Experiment! This is not your work in progress with which your heart is indelibly entwined. Have some fun and take risks.

Other Information

Here’s a great blog post from Karen Woodward about different ways to structure a short story.

Inline Critique

Episode 75: The Wolf and the Ravens: Historical Fiction Critique

Episode Description:

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of D.J. Umber's The Wolf and the Ravens, an as yet unpublished historical fiction novel. They discuss explaining character motivations, trusting your readers, and making the setting clear.

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Show Notes

“This is the hard part, knowing what’s too much and what’s not enough. In a first draft, I err on the side of caution and explain things. (In a show way, not a tell way) Sometimes you don’t know where the best spot for those clarifications are, so I put them in where they feel right and edit out later. If you have a good crit partner or group, they can provide valuable insight into where you need more or less info. If you’re on your own, then let your manuscript sit for a month or two before you revise. Then read through it in one or two sittings.

***

You can also look for areas in which you do spell it out. Common trouble spots here are in the emotional or motivational areas. Writers often do a great job of showing why, then doubt themselves and add in a told “this is why” statement at the end.
”

— Janice Hardy

Editorial Mission—Check your why

Take a pivotal scene or one that seems complex or confusing and check that you haven’t explained too much, particularly about why characters do what they do. See if you can show what has been told through exposition or thoughts. Trust that your reader to be able to work it out.

Other items and resources

Listen to Clark and Peter discuss three pitfalls to avoid in worldbuilding.

In this post, Leslie writes about getting your worldbuilding just right.

Inline Critique

Episode 74: Hanna's Hearts: Romance/Science Fiction Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Bobbie Carlton-Hess's Hanna's Hearts, an as yet unpublished Romance/Science Fiction novel. They discuss backstory and ways to convey what's important for the reader to know as well as polarizing topics.

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Show Notes

“Whether the story you’re writing is speculative or not, the key to building your strange world is actually counter-intuitive. What you have to do is pretend to “take it for granted” that everyone—characters and readers—have a basic understanding of your world.

I say “pretend” because, of course, you can’t take it for granted at all. You simultaneously have to assume your readers know zilch. This is where the delicate dance begins.
”

— K. M. Weiland

Editorial Mission—Check Your Polarizing Issues

If you have a divisive or polarizing issue—like religion, gender, or race—great! These hot topics yield lots of conflict that can fuel your story. But, consider the story reason for including it and check that the way you present it achieves your purpose.  

Other items and resources:

Listen to Clark and Peter discuss three pitfalls to avoid in worldbuilding.

In this post, Leslie writes about getting your worldbuilding just right.

Check out the Indie Author Spree, a weekend of best practices, experiments, and strategies for indie authors. I'll help you find your perfect editor match. Even better, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, Johnny B. Truant, and Data Wizard Brian Meeks will be there. Take advantage of this amazing free, online resource August 26-28.

Inline Critique

Episode 73: Feathers of the Phoenix: Historical Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of J.T. Morse's Feathers of the Phoenix, an as yet unpublished historical fantasy novel. They discuss point of view, the omniscient narrator, word choice, and accents.  

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Show Notes

“A novel has no camera because a novel is just a big brick of words, but for the sake of delicious metaphor, let’s assume that “camera” is representative of the reader’s perspective. We often think of point-of-view as being the character’s perspective (and it is), but it’s also about the reader’s perspective. A third-person narrative has the camera outside the action—maybe hovering over one character, maybe pulling back all the way to the corner. A first-person narrative gives one character the camera—or even goes so far as to cram the camera up their nether-cavern and into their brain and against their eyeball. The question then becomes: is the reader here to witness what’s going on? Or experience it? Third-person asks we witness, first-person allows us to experience (and second-person really utilizes the experiential mode but, again, probably don’t do that).”

— Chuck Wendig

Editorial Mission: Check Your Point of View

Take a pivotal scene from your story and write it from a different point of view, either use another character or a different form altogether (if you wrote it in first person, try third or vice versa, or even try omniscient). Experiment until you know the best way to tell your story in terms of the information you reveal and intimacy that occurs. Should the reader be observing or experiencing your story? What’s tricky about this is that it’s a big change if you decide to do it, so check this out early and think about early in your revisions.

Leave us a comment at the bottom of the show notes or drop us a line at writershippodcast@gmail.com to let us know how it goes.

Other items and resources:

Follow today’s author, J.T. Morse, here. 

Want to know more about point of view? Here’s a list of posts at Janice Hardy’s Fiction University.

Find Clark’s latest book, Hank Hudson and the Anubis on Amazon.

Inline Critique

Episode 72: Bloodbound: Paranormal Fantasy/Horror Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Sarah Brett's Bloodbound, an as yet unpublished paranormal fantasy/horror novel. They discuss active opening scenes, scenes and sequels, character motivation, and literal and metaphoric elements. 

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Show Notes

“[U]nderstand what makes a great hook. Begin with a problem (scene), not THINKING (sequel). The problem doesn’t need to be earth-shattering, and if it is, make sure it’s something you can outdo later. Don’t have the biggest loop of your roller coaster at the front of the ride or everything else will be anticlimactic.”

— Kristen Lamb

Editorial Mission: Strong Verbs

Your opening is a scene and should contain the basic elements: a character with a goal, someone or something standing in the way of the goal, and success or failure in achieving the goal. Assess your opening to make sure you have these necessary components.

Other items and resources

If you enjoyed Sarah's story, you can find her books other books here and follow her here.

Clark mentioned The Emotion Thesaurus, a great resource to help you show rather than tell about emotions.

You can find Clark’s latest book, Hank Hudson and the Anubis, here.

Inline Critique

Episode 71: Daughter of the Flood: Magical Realism Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Chrishaun Keller-Hanna's “Daughter of the Flood,” an as yet unpublished magical realism story. They discuss identifying characters, dialogue tags, setting, and strong verbs.

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Show Notes

“Verbs bring action—motion and movement—to our sentences. Without verbs, nothing happens.

Verbs move story people, both literally and emotionally.

Without verbs, characters and story go nowhere. Without the right verbs at the right time, characters and story go to the wrong places or get there in the wrong way, lacking impact or being overwhelmed by unnecessary actions.
”

— Beth Hill

Editorial Mission: Strong Verbs

Poets don’t have the luxury of excess words to convey meaning, so prose writers can learn a lot from them about making every word count. This week, we've adapted the editorial mission from a technique used by poets (from James Tonn and Mollie Coles Tonn) to make their verbs strong. Take a five- to ten-page passage from your story and write down the verbs you use. Rate them with a one, two, or three.

·       Ones are the weakest verbs, often linking verbs: to be, to have, to feel, to seem, to become.

·       Twos are medium verbs like these (some of which can act like linking verbs): put, place, walk, move, head, grow, sound, remain, look, smell, taste, resemble—they are a notch above ones but don’t convey everything they could.

·       Threes are strong, specific verbs: punch, saunter, creep, grab, delegate, manipulate, negotiate.

Strive for as many threes as you can manage. Leave us a comment at the bottom of the show notes or drop us a line at writershippodcast@gmail.com to let us know how it goes.

Other items and resources

You can find Clark’s latest book, Hank Hudson and the Anubis, here.

Preorder “Daughter of the Flood” to continue reading the story.

Find out more about Allazar here.

Inline Critique

Episode 70: Affery’s Earth, Magical Realism Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Sondra Turnbull's Affery’s Earth, an as yet unpublished magical realism novel. They discuss adverbs that end in ly, how to use adverbs to “unwrite” your sentences and make them stronger, the use of inanimate objects, and US vs. UK English. Contains some adult language.

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Show Notes

“The adverb is versatile—capable of modifying verbs, adjectives, other adverbs, even complete sentences. It’s flexible—likely to appear before, after, or nowhere near the word it modifies. And yet, undeniably, the adverb is both the poor stepchild and the Rodney Dangerfield of the parts of speech, enduring the scorn of writers and critics alike.”

— Richard Nordquist

The book Clark mentioned for the exercise in “unwriting” your sentences is Word Hero: A Fiendishly Clever Guide to Crafting the Lines that Get Laughs, Go Viral, and Live Forever by Jay Heinrichs.

Find out more about Clark’s courses here.

Inline Critique

Episode 69: Expedition, Brace Cordova Book One: Space Opera Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of C. Steven Manley's Expedition: Brace Cordova Book One, an as yet unpublished space opera. They discuss setting, capitalization, flashbacks, and characterization.

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Show Notes

“Most fantasy tales use the logic of the example presented above. A word may be capitalized because it is part of a proper name, it bears significant importance, or it is another name for a person, place, or thing. In the example at the beginning of the article, the words ‘Forest,’ ‘Torch,’ and ‘Language’ were randomly capitalized with no explanation as to their origin or feat. In its own way, each could refer to something else. ‘Forest’ could be referring to ‘The Dreaded Forest.’ ‘Torch’ could be a shortening of the name ‘The One Torch,’ and ‘Language’ could be a reference to the old tongue, held in such high regard by the society that it deserves random capitalization.”

— Courtney Keene

“In science there is a dictum: don’t add an experiment to an experiment. Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated. In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don’t ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story.”

— Ben Bova

Find out more about Clark's courses here.

Read the full, edited version of this Brace Cordova story here.

Check out C. Steven Manley's previous submission here.

Inline Critique

Episode 68: The Case Files of Jack Nimble—Supernatural Mystery Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique Carl Vaughn's The Case Files of Jack Nimble, an as yet unpublished supernatural mystery. They discuss fiction mash-ups, innovating scenes, character descriptions, and tightening prose.

 

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Show Notes

“The real problem with clichés is that they deprive us of genuine details, which, though less sensational, are both more convincing and more interesting…. The truth is the best weapon we have for authenticity against cliché: Whether it’s the literal truth or the truth of imagination doesn’t matter.
”

— Jordan Rosenfeld

Here is a Litreactor post with a list of the top 10 storytelling clichés.

Inline Critique

Episode 67: Hypnotic Destiny, YA Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Charlie Reale’s Hypnotic Destiny, an as yet unpublished YA Fantasy. They discuss fight scenes, character thoughts and reactions, point of view as it relates to character description, setting, and strong verbs.

 

 

 

 

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Show Notes

We mentioned these resources on the show. 

The Book Editor Show episode discussing editing scenes, sequels, and motivation-reaction units (MRU).

The Creative Penn Podcast episodes discussing fight scenes with Jarrah Loh and Alan Baxter. 

Chuck Wendig post on writing action scenes. 

Diana Gabaldon's Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade is the story that Leslie mentioned with the great battle scene. 

Inline Critique

Episode 66: Kastori Revelations, Science Fiction/Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Stephen Allan’s Kastori Revelations, a published science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss story beginnings, indicating the passage of time, action, and military culture.

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Show Notes

“Understanding the difference between the flush of initial inspiration and the ways in which your technical imagination then begins to organize the elements of the story is the key to effective beginnings. ”

— Jeff VanderMeer

For the editorial mission this week, consider this list from Jeff VanderMeer's WonderBook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction.

“Most stories require some or all of the basic following elements to be present at the beginning:

1. A main character or characters, presented from a consistent point of view.
2. A conflict or problem.
3. An antagonist (the source of conflict or the problem – a person or, depending on the theme, nature or society, to name just two possibilities; whomever or whatever the main characters are pushing up against, which, put crassly, could be called the ‘villain’ of the piece.)
4. A hint or suggestion of a secondary conflict or problem that may form a subplot or additional complication (This is optional, since it may come into focus later in the narrative.)
5. A sense of action or motion, no matter how static the opening scene.
6. A general or specific idea of the setting.
7. A consistent tone and mood to the language.
”

Want to continue reading? You can find Kastori Revelations here. 

Visit Stephen Allan's author page here. 

Inline Critique

Episode 65: The Key of Astrea, Science Fiction/Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Clark critique the opening pages of Nicolas Marson’s The Key of Astrea, an as yet unpublished science fiction/fantasy novel. They discuss rapid-fire dialogue, punctuation and tags for dialogue, and point of view. 

 

 

 

 

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Show Notes

Download Leslie's Quick Sheet for Punctuating Dialogue here.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 64: The Colonists, Historical Fiction Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie welcomed her new co-host, Clark Chamberlain, who is an author, editor, and co-host of The Book Editor Show. They critiqued the beginning of Michele Potter’s The Colonists, an as yet unpublished historical fiction novel. They discussed internal dialogue, increasing character interaction, strong verbs, ellipses, and em dashes.

 

 

Show Notes

“For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.

”

— Catherine Drinker Bowen

Need to find the origin of a word or phrase? Check out try this source. 

 

Inline Critique

Episode 63: Action-Adventure Romance Critique

Episode Description

In this episode, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Michael Walsh's Posted as Missing, an action-adventure romance. They discuss genre, traumatic events and how to include them in fiction, underwriting, strong verbs, echoes, and foreign languages. This episode has adult language and disturbing images. 

Also, Alyssa bid a fond farewell to the Writership Podcast. Her insight and presence will be missed, but we wish her well in her new adventures.

 

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Show Notes

“Underwriting is just what it sounds like: it’s the failure to put things on the page that need to be there. When somebody picks up a gun and fires it off, and we didn’t know there was a gun on stage, that’s underwriting. When someone makes a decision completely out of the blue, leaving us not so much surprised as confused, that’s underwriting. ”

— Rachel Starr Thompson

Check out this helpful post about underwriting from Writers Helping Writers.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 62: YA Paranormal Adventure Critique

Episode Description

In episode 62, Leslie and Alyssa critique the opening of Jenn Hale and Holly Mora’s Forged, a young adult paranormal adventure. They discuss beginning hooks, flashbacks, similes, repetitive structure, and echoes.

 

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Show Notes

“Flashbacks are sometimes necessary because telling a story in chronological order is not always the best choice. They are similar to actual scenes that take place during the time frame of the story itself; they allow you to show instead of telling the reader about an important event. Similarly, the scene-setting of a flash forward can deliver emotional content more effectively than a sentence or two that simply tells the reader that the dying woman thought about her children growing up without her and felt sad.
”

— Bridget McNulty

To learn more about Jennifer Hale and Holly Mora, check out their website.

Here is a helpful post about flashbacks from Now Novel's Bridget McNulty.

To find out more about working with Alyssa on your next manuscript, check out her website.

 

Inline Critique

Episode 61: Behind the Stars: Fantasy Critique

Episode Description

Alyssa & Leslie critique the opening of Thomas Cardin’s Behind the Stars, an unpublished fantasy novel. They discuss conflict, point of view, echoes, and disclosing relevant detail.

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Show Notes

“Editing is like walking across a room strewn with rose petals and thorns. When you can walk across mostly unbloodied, you’re finished.”

— Richard Due

 

Inline Critique

Episode 60: The Missing Yesterdays, MG/YA Novella Critique

Episode Description

Leslie & Alyssa critique the opening of Terry Marchion’s The Missing Yesterdays, an MG/YA novella. They discuss specificity of detail and verbs, rising tension, worldbuilding and applying humor.

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Show Notes

“Detail done well is one of the keys to good fiction.

The right mix of details can be the difference between a memorable scene and one that could be found in any of hundreds of books—bland, vague, forgettable.”

— Beth Hill

Read the full, edited version of The Missing Yesterdays here.

Check out the second book in the series, The Purloined Pictograph, here.

 

Inline Critique